Kick…le. Hmm.
It seems like every late 80s/early 90s third party NES release (plus some of the first-party ones) started out as arcade games. Even the puzzle games in these days often started as arcade games, which provides a terrible segue into discussing this week’s game, Kickle Cubicle. It’s by the folks at Irem, whose other early hits include R-Type and Lode Runner. The protagonist’s name is Kickle but, thankfully, it does not contain any cubicles.
In each level, your job is to collect a series of bags, which apparently contain people that have been kidnapped. To do that, you’ll typically need to blow on a series of basic enemies to turn them into ice cubes, which you can then push into water to create paths. This is somewhat enjoyable, but I’ll admit that it can also get a bit tedious in some cases where you need to do a bunch of it. As you go along, the levels get more complex and/or difficult, with new enemies and obstacles being introduced all the time, but that’s the gist of it.
For my money, the gold standard of NES platformers has to be The Adventures of Lolo, which is an utterly adorable delight. It and Kickle Cubicle admittedly have a lot in common – they have cute protagonists, a bunch of levels, and a button that just straight up kills your character when you get yourself stuck. Or you just get frustrated and long for death’s sweet embrace. Whatever.
While it can be a bit monotonous, I think this gives Lolo a run for its money. There are dozens of levels to get through, and you’ll find yourself dealing with an interesting variety of enemies, including ones that aggressively get in your way, ones that explode, ones that pose as fake ice blocks (oh man these are the worst) and ones that are basically just bullet hell:
What’s really concerning about Kickle Cubicle, however, is what happens when you beat each level. You see, each level takes place on an island, upon beating each one, the island (and anything left on it) just up and explodes, while Kickle watches safely from above, surrounded by various implements of doom (in this case, pumpkins):
This is murder! Don’t be fooled by his adorable facade – Kickle is a monster. I took a look at his journal to confirm my suspicions, and you won’t believe what I found…
My god. Kickle Cubicle is a great and fun game, but just know that if you buy it, you’re supporting a war criminal.
Next week’s game is a classic and it kicks ass.