Wait, hang on…is this real? I have this? I’ve made a terrible mistake.
This week’s episode of “Christ, Why Do I Own This” focuses on the NES game The Rocketeer. It is based on the Disney-funded film of the same name, which is itself based on an empty can found in a dumpster behind the Epcot Center. The highlight of The Rocketeer is probably Timothy Dalton’s mustache:
It appears in the game version, too!
The gameplay is reminiscent of other run-and-gun shooters of the era like Rolling Thunder and Code Name: Viper. You walk around, do a bit of platforming, and shoot endless waves of enemies before they do the same to you. While there’s a single generic ammo pickup there are several guns you can use at any time, including a pistol, a ‘spread’ gun, and even a bazooka. The more powerful the weapon, the faster it depletes your ammo, so it’s important to use it wisely. The pace of play is also about what you want for a game like this. It kills me to admit this, but the core gameplay of The Rocketeer is…well, largely functional. I’m rather amazed.
You know what it doesn’t have going for it, though? Anything involving rockets or flying around. There’s…virtually none of that. You do get to use your jetpack here and there, but it’s almost never actually necessary or part of the core gameplay. It’s like how the Lakers play in Los Angeles or how Troll 2 doesn’t have any trolls.
There’s also a frustrating lack of variety to The Rocketeer. While the game has fairly impressive graphics for a 1991 NES game, those graphics largely repeat themselves in every level – each one feels like a separate but extremely similar giant warehouse. Similarly, the enemies don’t really evolve between levels – you pretty much have the same group of enemies (guy without gun, guy with gun, guy with a slightly different gun) all the time.
With a little more variety in its levels (say, a level where you’re flying through the air, shoot-em-up style), The Rocketeer could have honestly been a surprisingly solid hidden gem. As it is, it’s a rather middling run-and-gun game, though one that’s maybe worth checking out if you enjoy the genre a lot. It’s not great, but it’s better than I thought – that’s certainly more than I can say for its source material.
The Rocketeer was developed by Ironwind Software, a company whose history seems surprisingly brief. They also made the NES game Heavy Barrel and an adaptation of the game show Fun House, but that’s about it. Its founder worked on Bad Dudes, though, so that’s cool.
I just picked the random title for next week and immediately hung my head. It’s gonna be a rough one, everyone. Hopefully we can get through it together.